


In Love There is Forgiveness

by paynesgrey



Category: True Blood (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-07
Updated: 2009-12-07
Packaged: 2020-10-04 04:14:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20464850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paynesgrey/pseuds/paynesgrey
Summary: Hoyt wanders down the road and bemoans his loneliness, and he runs into the very woman he misses.





	In Love There is Forgiveness

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the A-Z meme in my personal journal. This is for [](http://browneyedmami.livejournal.com/profile)[browneyedmami](http://browneyedmami.livejournal.com/) who requested "L - love, Jessica/Hoyt."

Hoyt knows that love doesn’t die that easily. The feelings just don’t go away, not even when the one you love does something horrible. There’s pain, there’s sadness, and there’s shame – but underneath it all, there’s still love.

He’s wounded from everything – from his mom and the craziness going on in town, to Jessica herself. Hoyt knows that he can forgive them both, but he only wants to be with one of them right now, and Jessica is nowhere to be found. He starts to worry. Maybe he’s hurt her too much this time; perhaps he’s screwed up and she’s never coming back. That’s definitely the last thing he wants to happen.

So he walks. He doesn’t really have a home anymore. He can’t go back to his mother. He may be forgiving, but he feels justified right now, and he will not back down from his convictions about his daddy.

He walks down the road toward Shreveport. If anything, he can head out to the 24-hour gas station and buy a chocolate bar and a Mountain Dew. He’s definitely earned the indulgence, and he doesn’t care about his low funds right now. He’s so weary he can’t even think, and if Hoyt doesn’t distract himself soon, his thoughts will cause him to cry.

He’s done enough of that. He has to be a man now, being out on his own.

The night air is chilly against his skin, and it reminds him of when he holds Jessica’s hand. He just hopes she’s okay, and more than anything, he hopes he can find her again. He busies himself with fantasies of her – of scooping her off her feet and going apartment shopping. He thinks about taking her to Merlotte’s and while she’s waiting for her Tru Blood to heat up, he’ll get down on one knee and ask her to accept his hand.

He daydreams that she laughs, and that she says yes.

Hoyt closes his eyes and lets out a sigh. When he blinks, he looks around and realizes his reality again. The night is still cold and spilling into the morning. He’s still homeless and alone.

His feet start to drag in the dirt and he can feel the soles of his shoes sifting noisily with each step. The sound distracts him so much that he can barely hear the second set of feet coming toward him. He stops and looks up, and his mouth gapes from the sight in front of him.

“Jessica?”

Her hair is disheveled, and there’s blood painted on her face and neck. She looks up with makeup and red smeared around her eyes. Her eyes widen when she notices him too. She whimpers and steps awkwardly toward him.

“Hoyt…” she chokes out, sniffling and trying to wipe away the burgundy stains from her vision.

“What… happened to you? Are you okay?” He almost feels silly for asking her; she’s a vampire after all.

She tilts her head and her face contorts in anguish. “No, I’m bad, Hoyt. I’m really bad,” she cries. Slowly he moves toward her but she backs away and hugs herself. “I…don’t come near me.”

“Jessica, look, we can talk about this,” he pleads, and she stares at the ground with an emotionless face. “What happened with my mama, I know it’s your nature and all, and well, it was bad, but she was on something and…” he stammers, but he stops when he sees the pain in Jessica’s face.

“I’m sorry about that, Hoyt. I really am,” she says with a sob. “I wish I could take it all back.” She begins to cry again, and he shushes her, extending his arms out when she finally lets him touch her. His hands rest on her biceps as he looks down at her.

“I forgive you. I’m mad, and I know you won’t do it again,” he says.

“You don’t know,” she says with disgust, more for herself than him. “I’m a monster, Hoyt. I could have killed her.”

She wilts away from his touch and turns her back from him. “You should go home, Hoyt. It’s dangerous out here.”

“I’m not going anywhere!” he says defiantly, but she doesn’t turn around. She just hides her face from him, and he knows it’s because she continues to cry and doesn’t want him to see.

“Hoyt…”

“Look, I didn’t expect to find you here, but I’m glad I did. I wanted to apologize too. I took flowers to your house, but you weren’t there,” he says with a sigh. He scratches the back of his head and starts to pace around. “Can’t we… I just want to start over.”

“We can’t,” she says. “I’m too dangerous for you.”

“Now, listen here, I’ll decide that for myself,” he drawls at her. Slowly, she spins around and meets his eyes as he crosses his arms stubbornly. “If you tell me to go away, Jessica, say it because you don’t want me anymore.”

She opens her mouth, but her words are stalled. Hoyt watches her intently, reading the emotions on her face. “I can’t do that either.” Hoyt relaxes, but Jessica is firm. “I mean it when I say I’m dangerous, Hoyt. I could have killed your mother! Bill is right…I’m not in control of my emotions, I’m too young. I don’t know how to…”

“Vampire Bill isn’t here right now, but I am, Jessica, and you haven’t ripped my head off yet, so you can’t be that dangerous,” Hoyt retorts.

She shakes her head and sighs. “I didn’t kill your ma, but I did kill someone else tonight.” He’s silent, and their eyes lock. She looks both tortured and satiated from the reality; it’s a side to her that he’s never seen. Her voice drops low. “You have the right to know that at least.” She raises her chin, but she seems cynical. “Now do you still want to be with me, Hoyt Fortenberry?”

He rests his hands calmly at his sides and takes a deep breath. His head tilts, and he looks at her with compassion. “Jessica, whatever the reason you did that, I still love you. You just have to tell me why.”

She hugs herself tighter and looks away from his piercing gaze and says, “I was lost. I lost _you_, and I had nothing else left. Bill was gone… but it doesn’t matter, he can’t help me anyway. I had betrayed you because I was a monster, so… I thought I might as well act like it.

“But when I fed on him…”Her nose turns up in distaste, and he watches her as she submerges herself back into the memory. “When he died, I thought, ‘I could have killed Hoyt’s ma this way. I could have killed Hoyt some other day.’ And then I stopped; he was already dead but I stopped.” She turns back to him and he sees the shame on her face. He feels her pity, her disappointment and horror at her actions.

“The important thing is that you know you did bad,” he states. She shakes her head.

“It’s never that simple, Hoyt,” she says, but he comes near her anyway and draws her into his arms. At first she stiffens like a statue as he wraps himself around her. The feeling of his heat calms her, and she slowly rests her head on his chest, looking away into the shadows of the forest next to them.

“I could get into a lot of trouble, Hoyt. They might come after me,” she says. She pulls away and looks into his eyes frantically. “Still want to stay with me if I’m just going to be punished anyway?”

“Shh…” he says, rubbing her arms. “You don’t know that, Jessica. Nothing has happened yet.”

“But when it does!”

“When it does,” Hoyt finishes, and his fingers wipe away the blood on her cheek. “I’ll be by your side.” He pauses and smiles. “I left my mama for good, Jessica. I left her so I could be with you.”

Jessica closes her eyes to his touch and then leans her cheek into his palm. She lets out a sob, and he pulls her into an embrace.

“I’m scared,” she says, and Hoyt kisses her forehead.

“Don’t worry; I’ll protect you,” he says, and Jessica smiles weakly. Hoyt sees her smile, and he releases a small laugh. “I know, it sounds silly, doesn’t it? A human protecting a vampire? Shoot, I must be crazy.”

Jessica giggles. “You are crazy, Hoyt Fortenberry.”

“Only for you,” he says, and he lightly pulls her chin closer, and Jessica closes her eyes when she feels his kiss. He sighs into her touch, and he realizes how much he’s missed her taste. It seems like forever since the last time he was able to kiss her like this.

“Let’s go,” she says, taking his hand.

“Where we goin’?” he asks, falling in step naturally by her side.

“Well, since you don’t have a home, I guess we’re off to Bill’s house,” she says, and he squeezes her hand tighter. He feels the chill of her touch that he was missing not too long ago when he started down this road.

“Are you sure Bill won’t mind?” Hoyt says, though they’re going there anyway, whether Bill likes it or not. Hoyt is just being polite, of course.

Jessica sighs with a small laugh, and she turns to Hoyt and smiles reassuringly. “Don’t you worry about that, Hoyt. I bet Bill’s not even there.”

END  



End file.
